Tuesday, February 26, 2008
My first day of Basic Training
I got drafted in July of 1955 and was instructed to report to Ft. Douglas in Salt Lake City on the 5th of August. I did so, was sworn in and was bused with 30 other draftees to Ft. Carson, Colorado. We arrived there about noon the next day and were bused from Colorado Sprins, CO to Ft. Carson. That same day about 100 draftees from elsewhere arrived at the same time. They had us line up single file on the edge of a big parade ground about the size of three football fields side by side. We had each been given a small paper bag. When we marhed onto the parade ground, tnis big mean looking drill sergeant yelled "Halt!" We all did. He then hollered "Right Face" and 129 guys turned right and one turned left. Who was that dummy? You guessed it. It was me. The sergeant came to where I was standing and asked if I knew my right hand from my left. I said I did but he had picked up a rock about the size of a baseball and put it in my right hand as a reminder of which was right and which was left. He told me that I was to carry that rock in my right hand all the rest of the day. I could only put it down while I ate. I even had to sleep with it that night. Anyhow, we were instructed to "Police the Parade Ground" that is to pick up anything that wasn't grass and put it in the paper bags as we crossed the field and stop in a line on the other side. We were then mrched to the mess hall where I had my first army meal. The rest of the day went without incident but I never forgot which was left and which was right.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Did You Hear the One About...
I've always enjoyed telling and listening to jokes - good or bad. It has always amused me that when you get into a joke telling mode with some good friends that as you listen, just a word or phrase will remind you of another joke. One day several years ago I sat down at my computer and typed jokes as they came into my mind. To date I have over 50 pages of jokes - yes, both good bak and ugly. Today, I thought that I would pass along a few jokes to make your day hapier. Here goes:
A blind man walked in to a department store with his seeing-eye dog. He stood there for a few minutes, reached down and grabbed the dog by the tail and began to swing him around his head. A clerk came up to him and said “May I help you, sir.” The blind guy said “No, I’m just looking around.”
One day there was a toad that went into a bank and stepped up to the desk of a loan officer named Patty Black. She asked if she could help the frog and he said, “I’d like to take out a loan. Patty Black asked what the frog had for collateral. The frog said, “What do you mean?” Patty Black said, “We’ll need something of value to secure the loan. The frog opened up his backpack and took out a small ceramic figurine and handed it to Patty Black. Patty said, “This won’t do.” Patty Black said. “Do you have anything else?” “No” said the frog. “That’s all I have.” “Well,” said Patty, “I’ll have to get this approved as collateral for you loan. She called the bank manager to assist her. When the bank manager came up to the desk, he said, “What seems to be the problem?” Patty Black explained the situation and showed the bank manager the small figurine that the frog had offered as security. The bank manager took the figurine and said, “That’s nick-nack, Patty Black, give the frog a loan.”
I'll end with a dumb blond joke:
A man was driving along a highway and saw a rabbit hopping across the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, a sensitive man, as well as an animal lover, pulled over to
the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful that he began to cry. A blonde driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The blond told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.
Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two people and hopped off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two people again, hopped down the road another 10 feet, waved, and hopped another 10 feet, turned and waved and repeated this again and again until it was out of sight.
The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?" The blond woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: Are you ready for this? Are you sure? OK, here it is....... Hair Spray - Restores Life to Dead Hair. Adds Permanent Wave."
I welcome your comments. If you will tell me what you think, I'll post a few more jokes - or not.
A blind man walked in to a department store with his seeing-eye dog. He stood there for a few minutes, reached down and grabbed the dog by the tail and began to swing him around his head. A clerk came up to him and said “May I help you, sir.” The blind guy said “No, I’m just looking around.”
One day there was a toad that went into a bank and stepped up to the desk of a loan officer named Patty Black. She asked if she could help the frog and he said, “I’d like to take out a loan. Patty Black asked what the frog had for collateral. The frog said, “What do you mean?” Patty Black said, “We’ll need something of value to secure the loan. The frog opened up his backpack and took out a small ceramic figurine and handed it to Patty Black. Patty said, “This won’t do.” Patty Black said. “Do you have anything else?” “No” said the frog. “That’s all I have.” “Well,” said Patty, “I’ll have to get this approved as collateral for you loan. She called the bank manager to assist her. When the bank manager came up to the desk, he said, “What seems to be the problem?” Patty Black explained the situation and showed the bank manager the small figurine that the frog had offered as security. The bank manager took the figurine and said, “That’s nick-nack, Patty Black, give the frog a loan.”
I'll end with a dumb blond joke:
A man was driving along a highway and saw a rabbit hopping across the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, a sensitive man, as well as an animal lover, pulled over to
the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful that he began to cry. A blonde driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The blond told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.
Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two people and hopped off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two people again, hopped down the road another 10 feet, waved, and hopped another 10 feet, turned and waved and repeated this again and again until it was out of sight.
The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?" The blond woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: Are you ready for this? Are you sure? OK, here it is....... Hair Spray - Restores Life to Dead Hair. Adds Permanent Wave."
I welcome your comments. If you will tell me what you think, I'll post a few more jokes - or not.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Memories from our youth
A posting by Sandi in her Blog "Wizards of Creativity" about a memory of an incident that happened to her when she was three years old made me think of memories of our youth. A fond memory I have happened when I was five years old. I was with my Mom and Dad traveling from St. Maries, Idaho to Safford Arizona. Dad worked for a pipeline constuction company as a "Cat Skinner" or Bull Dozer operator. As such, it was his job, when they moved, to load the bull dozer onto a flat bed semi truck and take it to the next job site. This particular move took plade in December 1936 at Christmas time. My big concern was how Santa Claus was was going to find us if we didn't have a permanent house. It happened at Jacobs Lake, Arizona. We arrived there on Christmas Eve and Dad got us a cabin to stay in. During that night it snowed two feet. In the morning, I found, to my joy, that Santa had indeed found us and I got the toy I had asked for. My Dad unloaded the bull dozer from the semi trailer and plowed all the snow from the trailer court and the owner gave us our cabin rental for free. After the state snow plows went by, we continued on our way to Safford, Ariz. What a thrill it is to think back to that time and know that my parents were mindful of the importance of Christmas and made it happen for me.
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