Did You Hear the One About...

I've always enjoyed telling and listening to jokes - good or bad. It has always amused me that when you get into a joke telling mode with some good friends that as you listen, just a word or phrase will remind you of another joke. One day several years ago I sat down at my computer and typed jokes as they came into my mind. To date I have over 50 pages of jokes - yes, both good bak and ugly. Today, I thought that I would pass along a few jokes to make your day hapier. Here goes:

A blind man walked in to a department store with his seeing-eye dog. He stood there for a few minutes, reached down and grabbed the dog by the tail and began to swing him around his head. A clerk came up to him and said “May I help you, sir.” The blind guy said “No, I’m just looking around.”

One day there was a toad that went into a bank and stepped up to the desk of a loan officer named Patty Black. She asked if she could help the frog and he said, “I’d like to take out a loan. Patty Black asked what the frog had for collateral. The frog said, “What do you mean?” Patty Black said, “We’ll need something of value to secure the loan. The frog opened up his backpack and took out a small ceramic figurine and handed it to Patty Black. Patty said, “This won’t do.” Patty Black said. “Do you have anything else?” “No” said the frog. “That’s all I have.” “Well,” said Patty, “I’ll have to get this approved as collateral for you loan. She called the bank manager to assist her. When the bank manager came up to the desk, he said, “What seems to be the problem?” Patty Black explained the situation and showed the bank manager the small figurine that the frog had offered as security. The bank manager took the figurine and said, “That’s nick-nack, Patty Black, give the frog a loan.”

I'll end with a dumb blond joke:

A man was driving along a highway and saw a rabbit hopping across the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, a sensitive man, as well as an animal lover, pulled over to
the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful that he began to cry. A blonde driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The blond told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.
Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two people and hopped off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two people again, hopped down the road another 10 feet, waved, and hopped another 10 feet, turned and waved and repeated this again and again until it was out of sight.
The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?" The blond woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: Are you ready for this? Are you sure? OK, here it is....... Hair Spray - Restores Life to Dead Hair. Adds Permanent Wave."

I welcome your comments. If you will tell me what you think, I'll post a few more jokes - or not.